We are thrilled to have the Easter Bunny hop by the BS News blog to answer a few questions about hiding eggs in the time of COVID.
Hey Easter Bunny, thank you so much for hopping by. We’re super excited to have you here. To start things off, what is your actual name?
Heinrich Vormelker. Heinrich was a popular name amongst 18th century German immigrants to America. And Vormelker literally means pre-milker. It was a rough childhood
How do you feel about being officially deemed an essential service?
[sigh] The only people the Easter Bunny is essential to are dentists. It’s a nice boost to the ego though – Easter Bunny and weed dealers, essential services.
What extra precautions are you taking this weekend?
I’m only delivering eggs to good kids. I think Santa had the right idea all along. So that’s about 80% of the population that isn’t getting a visit from the Easter bunny, which will help limit my exposure.
Many people are hailing you and others who are going to work right as heroes. How do you feel about this? Do you feel like a hero, and if not, what would you rather be called?
Seasonally employed. I’m not a hero, it’s a job, I bring candy, flowers, I hide eggs in fields, these aren’t the moves of a hero.
Obviously, once your Easter duties are completed, you will need to self-isolate for 14 days. What are your plans during self-isolation and how will this effect your family?
I work one weekend a year… self-isolation is kinda my thing. And with well over 1,000 children I’m looking forward to catching up on Days of Our Lives.
I’m sure you’ve seen the following meme :
If you were to make your own list of things that people should accomplish during to avoid admitting they’re lazy assholes, what would it be?
If you don’t come out of this quarantine with
1.) 2 new litters of babies
2.) 2 pregnant side chicks
3.) A new recipe for carrot soup.
You didn’t lack time you lacked discipline .
Any final words of advice or a message to the masses before you hop off?
Stay in and fill your faces. Next year you’ll be back in the parks and open fields looking for chocolate that’s just lying around – you people really are gross.
Yes we are. Thank you, Heinrich Vormelker, for joining us today. Safe travels!
Heinrich Vormelker, Easter Bunny was played by Dan Brennan, a Hamilton based stand-up comic. A passionate and energetic performer, Dan’s comedy centres around his many mistakes and his inability to understand the modern world.