Vicks introduces Pumpkin Spice flavoured Nasal Spray for your inner middle class 20 year-old white woman!
With spring finally here, temperatures are sure to change to conditions that’ll enhance a runny nose while you’re trying to optimize your internal basic bitch. What’s the best way to fight the sniffles while looking Instagram picturesque? Introducing the Pumpkin Spice Nasal Spray to help you capture your inner middle class 20 year-old white woman!
Take it with you anywhere you go! It’s just like carrying a scented candle that only YOU can smell! Its sleek design makes it easy to carry around: you can fit it right into your yoga pants, Uggs, Kylie Jenner lip kit, doubts about your future, or even your brunch date with your fave gal pals (need some flavouring on those pancakes, ladies? *wink wink*).
Ladies, your noses are too precious to suck in some chemically raised nasal spray. Our top researchers have ventured out into the jungles of Oprah’s backyard to pick out the best affirmations to read out loud while creating our aromatic concoction. So, when your nose feels a little itchy, you have the comfort of using the Pumpkin Spice Nasal Spray while knowing the universe is on your side.
Directions: Insert the spray into your nose and squeeze the bottle to breathe in as you take an Instagram picture (we recommend the Valencia filter, and listing every hashtag known to man, including #whatgoesinthenosestaysinthenose, and breathe out the toxins from all the drama of your coworker Carol’s unsolicited comments about embracing age and allowing your white hair to grow out. “For best results, we suggest posting a seductive pose with an inspirational message that has nothing to do with the post”, suggested Dr. Su Munch-Drama.
And, if you like our nasal spray, check out our Pumpkin Spice Mace! Because every basic bitch also needs basic safety…but why not smell festive while doing it?!
Harpreet Sehmbi is a Toronto based stand-up comedian, improviser, writer, director and actor. She is an alumni of Second City Toronto’s Longform Improvisation and Sketch Conservatory programs, and regularly performs stand-up all over Canada and the US. She’s headlined the Lady Laughs Comedy Festival in Wisconsin and the Chicago Women’s Funny Festival, and was featured in the North Carolina Comedy Festival, and 6th Borough Comedy Festival in New Jersey. She coproduces and hosts The Darjeelings of Comedy, showcasing South Asian female comedians in Toronto. You can catch Harpreet at Absolute Comedy Club in Toronto, on the renowned Nubian Show produced by Kenny Robinson, and starring in a web series she’s created called INDIE-pendent.