Cathy and I asked east-end comedian Keith Andrews to join us on the BS News blog, and we’re so happy he obliged. For one fleeting day in the early stages of self-isolation, Keith kept us thoroughly entertained with his burgeoning Photoshop skills and adorable pink ass, and now we’re sharing his skills/ass with you, dear readers!
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Whether you’re a painter missing your galleries, or a comic missing the stage, all of the public arts are suffering in this current embargo on public gatherings. Toronto, what once was a bustling city full of bars susceptible to open mic ambushes, is now full of barren streets, save for the frequent Metro parking lot argument between two people over toilet paper. Covid-19 has most of us shook up.
Stuck in my hometown of Ajax without a stage to hone my craft, I was beginning to go stir-crazy. I knew one thing though, I refused to do a damn bloody live-stream comedy show. That’s why I decided to go on vacation.
Though I admit it’s a lot harder to go on vacation when you’re quarantined. Most artists are too busy thinking about paying rent, myself included. That’s why in these trying times, I found an escape, through Adobe Photoshop. I had been toying around with the program for the previous few months, so my skill with the app was very sub-par but it was something I wanted to get better at and figured now’s as good a time as any. Most of the “trips” I took required watching tutorials along the way on the various tools the app has to offer. My idea was simple: Photoshop an image of myself from a 2019 July 1st weekend at the cottage into the background of the varying wonders of the world.
Though not exclusively, I started with the Ancient Wonders. Why go somewhere real when you have the options of anywhere at your fingertips? I went through a few other wonders; The Pyramids in Egypt, The Hanging Gardens of Babylon, San Francisco’s Golden Gate Bridge et al. but I am a man of instant gratification, and for that reason I became bored almost immediately. I posted them to Facebook and they got more of a response than I was expecting at all. Not a huge one, but big enough for me to get my social media dopamine drip. I made 20 more in a day, each one slightly improving on the last, I became obsessed with my own ass! Eventually, I had been at it so long that my family pleaded with me to do something else, and I was forced to oblige.
This was just one day in my life during quarantine, but I’m sure there are still many more to go to be crazy. I say get out there, find yourself a hobby you can shove down people’s Facebook throats; it’s good for your sanity. Hell, pretend you were always doing whatever you started even before quarantine, no one is fact checking. They’re too busy live-streaming.
I say get out there, find yourself a hobby you can shove down people’s Facebook throats; it’s good for your sanity.
Keith Andrews
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Keith Andrews was born and raised in Toronto, Ontario. He is the co-host of the Its Alive!!! Comedy Show and can also be seen performing regularly at the Underground Cafe. Keith recently took part in the 420 Comedy Festival in Toronto. He spends his afternoons eating a popcorn bowl of cap’n crunch and watching the original director’s cut of Blade Runner.